This one is for all the mom-shamers out there, especially the ones with no kids, please, feast your eyes on the following.
- Wow! You don’t breastfeed? You do know breast is best, right?
- Wow! You co-sleep? You’ve heard of how dangerous that can be, right?
- Wow! You still go out and drink? Wouldn’t you rather be spending time with your kids?
- You know I don’t how you don’t stay home with your kids, I can’t imagine sending them to day care & working
I will say this:
- I breastfed for 15 months.
- I co-slept and still do.
- I started working and sent Mina to daycare after she turned 1.
- I, personally don’t “go out” but will occasionally go to the movies after Mina’s sleeping. With zero guilt.
However, what I won’t say is why I did/do any of those things. Because, my choices as a mother are none of your darn business, as you are not MY mother, and coincidentally you will also find you are not the mother of MY children, either (ooohh the calamity). Here’s the god honest truth, it’s hard enough navigating motherhood without being told we’re doing everything wrong!!
I feel like mothering as we know it today, has changed immensely from what it once was. We mother under a constant microscope of people eager to point out the flaws in our parenting and pulling out all this guilt from within us. Guilt we all have, and something that didn’t come in the parenting pamphlet “forever feeling guilty without ever knowing why”
So here is my message to moms who have been shamed for doing the best they can:
-you’re doing it right.
YOU’RE DOING IT RIGHT. Mmkay. Whatever it is. If it’s working for you and your children. It’s right!
If you co sleep, if you bottle feed, if you let your kid cry it out, if you never set your child down, if you go out occasionally and drink or you stay home and knit…if you work or you are a stay at home mom, you’re out here killing it! Don’t feed into the rhetoric of people who don’t know the ins and outs of your life… judgement is for the weak and directionless.. look to your kids… they will tell you, you’re rocking it !! (if they can talk…that is). If we are going to shame moms, lets say Shame on you, for thinking you were anything less than amazing.