The one thing that I always wanted from my blog was honesty. Positivity and encouragement, of course, but honesty and transparency were really important to me. Because life is not always “you can do it’s” and “don’t stop believing’s” (which by the way you can do it, and don’t stop believing 😊 ) but life doesn’t always feel that way. SO here it is:
Im sitting here, listening to Van Morrison – Days Like this on a never ending repeat & It’s a bad day. Or maybe it’s a bad week, an accumulation of days that just drag. I guess that’s just lifes own way of telling you that you can only control so much of your own life, before it starts to just kind of rain down on you like golf ball size chunks from the sky. This week was an example of that.
I have had, what feels like the worst week (yessss, I am being dramatic because nothing of great substance has happened, everyone I know is still alive and well… Im healthy, my family is healthy. I have a home & food) SO Im sure I could have had a week much worse than this, but for me, it’s a bad week right now. And it feels exhausting, and I am emotional about absolutely everything, & it feels like this week will literally be on repeat for the Rest. Of. My. Life. Im here thinking that to SOME extent, I can control this. I need to wrap myself up in my responsibility blanket and release this feeling that I am a victim of life. Maybe my day is bad…or maybe my reaction to the day is bad. It just feels bad. And I know I need the bad to appreciate the good.
I came up with this.. It is okay that the day, or the week, or the month or whatever it is, feels bad. And you can put out all the positive vibes, and you can think all the positive thoughts, and you can meditate and run or do whatever you do that brings you to a happy place and sometimes it can still feel bad, and that is O.K. because we are just freaking human guys, I mean really… its okay to FEEL something other than happy. Feel bad, feel sad, feel upset or angry. FEEL THAT. But then, wrap yourself up in the responsibility blanket and don’t let yourself become a victim. Because there is SO MUCH good. SO MANY happy faces and people who are eager to love you and wrap you in love. This week was a tough one for me. And I have let myself feel everything that I needed to feel, and I won’t feel bad for it. It was a bad week, and I had a bad reaction. But Next week, will be better because (as I had just heard recently) “it doesn’t pay to complain, in life you have to take the hardknocks the way they are…but don’t let the garbage get to you, get up in the morning and ask yourself what am I going to do today that will make me happy” and do that to the best of your ability, and if it doesn’t work out, then just know, there has to be days like this, and it’s okay!